Grab Your Time Machine

Trying to pick out an ancient civilization to get trapped in is a fun thought experiment. You might wonder if your life would be better off in olden times than it is today, and for some civilizations, that may be the case. However, for others, living there may be a nightmare.

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1. The Aztec Empire

You’ve probably heard about the Aztecs’ tendency to sacrifice their own. Not only will you be trying to avoid becoming the next godly tribute, but you’ll also suffer through a harsh caste system and all-too-common food shortages.

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2. Qin Dynasty

While China has seen some marvelous and innovative dynasties, the period between 221 and 206 BCE is anything but. Forced labor was common during this time, as many were drafted to build the Great Wall, and government criticisms were met with swift and fatal consequences.

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3. Assyria

During the period of 900 and 600 BCE, Assyria was a place to be avoided. Cruelty was all too common, with kings tormenting their prisoners and forcing conscription. But maybe you’d be okay if you were born in a position of loyalty and means.

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4. Ancient Sparta

Plenty of people have seen the movie 300, and while it's not entirely accurate, it did get some things right. For instance, if you’re born a male, your life would be dedicated to military service. However, the whole throwing babies off cliffs is likely a myth.

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5. The Roman Empire

Rome certainly had its great periods, but it also had plenty of problematic ones. For instance, under the rule of mad emperors like Nero and Commodus, most citizens would experience short and harsh lives.

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6. The Mongol Empire

In the 13th century CE, Mongol armies were invading and conquering multiple cities. If you were a native Mongol, then you’d probably have a decent life. But if you belonged to one of those conquered cities, you wouldn’t live long.

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7. Ancient Phoenicians

The Phoenicians have done some pretty cool stuff, but historical findings have led to some terrifying debates about their sacrificial practices. Unlike the Aztecs, who focused on adults, it turns out the Phoenicians had an aptitude for targeting children, especially those of nobles.

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8. The Incas

Many know the Incas from the story of Spanish colonization, but it turns out they were well-known in South America for the horrendous things they got up to. Much like the Mongols, the Inca Empire was brutal and was conquering multiple cities, forcing people to choose between the ultimate fate or second-class citizenship.

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9. The Khmer Empire

From the 9th to the 15th century, Khmer was a place best avoided. Known for its forced labor and massive construction projects, you’d have a hard time catching a break. Not to mention their social hierarchy was quite rigid, and you’d have very little freedom.

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10. The Mayan Civilization

Much like the Aztecs, the Mayans also had sacrificial tendencies. But this was worsened by their frequent warfare with neighboring cities and the many droughts that burdened them. No wonder they thought their gods were unhappy.

Now that we have discussed the worst civilizations to live in, here are 10 that would be paradise!

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1. The Minoans

The Minoan Empire is known for its grand palaces and minimal fortification, which leads many historians to believe they didn’t engage in much war. So not only was the civilization safe and beautiful, but they also indulged in art and seemed to be fond of dolphins.

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2. Ancient Egypt

If you wanted to be picky, the best time to live in Egypt would likely be under the rule of Ramses II, but regardless, the empire has always been relatively safe and prosperous. The Nile guaranteed steady food supplies, there was art and culture to indulge in, and war was rare by modern standards.

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3. Ancient Greece

Many people would prefer living in ancient Greece, of course, but you should consider which city, as they vary greatly. For instance, while Sparta will lead to a hardened life, a place like Athens might keep things calmer. Either way, you can expect to engage in arts, culture, philosophy, great architecture, and more.

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4. Ancient Rome

While Rome would be terrible under a mad emperor, you’d have a fine time under a sane one. Rome was known to be ahead of its time, with innovative technologies, indoor plumbing, and a great social scene.

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5. Zhou Dynasty

Unlike the horrific Qin Dynasty, the Zhou Dynasty was a time of ideas and philosophy and laid the foundation for Sun Tzu, Confucius, and Taoism. There was effective governance in place, and social harmony was a prime objective.

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6. Mohenjo-Daro

If you had to pick a city, many historians recommend Mohenjo-Daro, which was known for its innovation and plumbing. As an Indus Valley Civilization, it included public baths, large granaries, and a college for priests.

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7. Persian Empire

Persia may get a bad reputation for its conquering tendencies, but it founded them on moral grounds. For instance, they did not subjugate other people and had a solid understanding of human rights. They also had great foods, celebrated birthday parties, and played backgammon.

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8. Ancient Babylon

Babylon is known as the birthplace of Gilgamesh and many other legends, but it also had a lot else going on for it. For instance, they invented chariots, sailed boats, and had an understanding of astronomy, writing, and mathematics. Some people even consider it the Cradle of Civilization.

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9. The Gupta Empire

India saw many rises and falls throughout its history, and another civilization worth giving credit to is the Gupta Empire, which was considered a golden age. They flourished in mathematics, fostered inter-religious existence, and had a great economy going. However, some could argue your lifestyle depends on who you’re born as.

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10. The Islamic Golden Age

From the 8th to the 13th century CE, the Abbasid Caliphate was known for its massive advancements in science, medicine, philosophy, and trade. It was considered an era of opportunity and mobility, as there was religious tolerance and a diverse intellectual scene that many were welcome to.

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